The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
Everyone has the right to be stupid, but you are abusing the privilege.
Don’t take life so seriously, it isn’t permanent.
Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.
In the end everything we do, is just everything we’ve done.
Do you believe in love at first sight or do I have to walk by again?
Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot…
If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.
I’ve lowered my expectations to the point where they’ve already been met!
Stupidity is not a crime, so you’re free to go.
Don’t worry about what people think. They don’t do it very often.
I love deadlines. I like the wooshing sound they makes as they fly by – Douglas Adams
Experience is the name so many people give to their mistakes.
I can resist everything except temptation.
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
A pessimist’s blood type is always b-negative.
A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
Corduroy pillows are making headlines!
Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses.
Every calendars days are numbered.
A backward poet writes inverse.
Energizer Bunny arrested — charged with battery…
Dijon vu — the same mustard as before.
If you don’t pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.
When two egotists meet, it’s an I for an I.
When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
Without geometry, life is pointless.
A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is two-tired.
Douglas Adams on underestimating the ingenuity of fools
In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.
She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.
Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft, and I’ll show you A flat minor.
The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large…